next possible job.. i don't know if i should get my hopes up about this either..

i just had my ics session, i had him fill out an evelope on where i should send my passport application. although, he said it'd probably be better if i went to the office physically and entered it in. so i'm gonna check if fredrick will take me to send it in there or i may just have to make a lyft ride myself. fredrick came today and bought me pizza for his birthday and then i had my job interview today at 2. i'm not sure i should put confidence in getting this job at all, considering the girl i knew from camp courage was familiar with the place since i remember seeing her last time i interviewed i think- i don't have a problem with her but she tries to create problems whenever i'm present places (from my experience at camp). i don't remember saying or doing anything wrong at the interview and i did remember to give the guy i spoke to about the job a flyer about the work-try out program that my job coach's supervisor told me to give the people i interview with from now on. i'm not sure they'll go for it but i'll try anything to get hired again i guess. it's worth a try.. maybe the employer will go for it, maybe they won't. can't blame a person for trying seeing as i KNOW i'm capable of more than mindlessly going to some rehabilitation "institute" which takes advantage of it's non-advocated for vulnerable adults JUST to appear "helpful" while totally ignoring their potential and abilities to get business and look "HELPFUL" and morons who don't REALLY care for what's REALLY going on with their family members who are clients of the place couldn't give a shit because they THINK it makes them appear "CARING" to everyone else who doesn't have the time to see what's REALLY going on with them (you-need-COURAGE-to-waste-your-time-here KENNY). WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT STACY IS REALLY CAPABLE OF, JUST MAKE US LOOK LIKE WE ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER SINCE EVERYONE JUST AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMES THAT DISABLED PEOPLE WHO GO TO THE COURAGE CENTER HAVE FAMILIES THAT ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THEIR FAMILY MUST BE SUPPORTIVE OF THEM TO SEND THEM TO THERAPY- WHETHER THEY NEED IT OR NOT! SHE DOES HAVE A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY! THAT MEANS STUPID! NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT STUPID PEOPLE THINK OR DO! RIGHT AMANDA?! i mean.. YOU OBVIOUSLY don't.. so don't act like i'm crazy for getting that impression. i'm NOT throwing away EVERYTHING i worked my ass off to get JUST because it's hard for someone who acts like i'm inconvenient to her and only pays attention to me when it's beneficial and/or convenient for HER when it's MY life we're dealing with here. you're naive as hell if you assume i'll go for letting YOU convince me that my goals are too inconvenient or crazy just because you can't see YOURSELF doing them. let me remind you probably for the 100th time- this is MY life. NOT yours. NOT my mom's. MINE. I have to deal with the fuckin consequences to MY life. my grandma over-confidently and naively put her trust and conviction in YOU helping to get me to new york. i'm assuming you're just ignoring everything your aunt promised me you'd do because you don't CARE about me or her.. for that matter. just so it appears you actually give a damn to everyone else- AS LONG AS IT'S CONVENIENT AND/OR BENEFICIAL TO YOU OF COURSE! STACY'S STUPID BECAUSE SHE HAS A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY.. SO WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT WHAT SHE THINKS OR DOES! RIGHT AMANDA?! being in this state completely damages my self-esteem.. i always need to be busy or constructive in order to keep my mind off what other people like AMANDA think about me.